I haven’t been actively blogging lately. will post a lot of stuff and I am thinking if making this blog a collection on sunsets and sunrises and other artsy pics.
maybe thoughts aren’t really supposed to be verbalized at all times (it gets me in trouble) haha. cheers!
summer has ended. writing season begins.
Another old training piece
Some old watercolor training piece
Oh, this is why I don’t like reading. You see something relevant and it effs you up for the rest of the day. I love good old Neil Gaiman anyways.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like ‘Maybe we should just be friends’ or ‘How very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.”
~ Rose Walker (“The Kindly Ones”)
So I took with me to a place i didn’t really want to visit, a broken laptop, a broken watch and a heart that remembers. Queue in Savage Garden Music “I don’t know you anymore”. I never thought I’d be able to get a feel of how the song was really like.
But like all things, when sufficient time has passed, aren’t what you remember them to be. I had been suppressing Baguio in my head for the longest time and it had garbled my memories about them. locations of things and places aren’t where they ought to be. I passed by the house of the ex and not so surprisingly, she wasn’t there. She’s married now. (remember that)
I just had to come effin’ visit. So I took the jeep back to Session Road where most of my singular memories where. It was oddly good. I will make new memories here. This will be the last time I mention her… but it won’t be the last time I visit this place.
(fast-forward one year)
I can’t believe I gave up someone over a fraud. Cheers to someone who promises better expectations. I will keep a note to myself to look beyond that rough patch I so fear to tread. She’d probably say: “I told you so.”